What's up readers? Do we still have any? I'm not sure; I no longer check the site meter since the gradual decline in readership is a bruise which my ego can't sustain.
So, as the title of this post may have led you to believe, I have yet again been schooled in the ways of rejection. So in honor of this, we're having a poetry contest. That's right, it's the First Annual Pretending Along Teen Angst / Unrequited Love Poetry Contest.
And you bastards have to play along, because I'm "heartbroken" and I demand attention!!!!
Put your entries in the comments section, an unbiased panel of judges will select the winner based on an objective criteria which include: the lack of basic poetic merit, the use of achingly obnoxious metaphor, and sheer narcissistic self involvement and self pitty.
Let the games begin, I'll start us off:
the sun shining brightly outside
warming the street
Like an ez-bake oven
cannot thaw the black icy nothingness
that is the empty pit of my soul.
fly, blackbird
fly...
And remember, y'all have to participate... otherwise this is a completely pathetic exercise.
Posted by cs at April 8, 2004 9:58 AMif only my eyes could see
your heart and how it beats
i could understand why
it no longer beats for me
i am lost! lost! in a
garbage pile of piled up hurt!
i need someone to find me here
with a shovel, and a kiss, and...
why!? you were my only love!
my soul is broken
as glass is broken
when i leap out the window
in remembrance of you
Fantastic. The Zimmer-man is currently thr front runner.
Posted by: chris at April 8, 2004 1:42 PMSweedish fish are red
Blueberries are blue
You decided to make out with the captain of the football team at the party last night in front of everybody on the couch while I sat in the corner you little slutty slut
and I feel like poo.
Posted by: Randolph at April 8, 2004 2:05 PMno way, dan's is way too good to win a bad poetry contest. that's like a top 40 radio song!
Posted by: nm at April 8, 2004 3:28 PMAchey Ouchie Heartbreak
My asshole ex boyfriend
Used his last exemption
To my groundrules
Flaunting monogamy
skankyhobagrama
Like light in prizim
Breaking apart.
(It's a double dactyl, if you care about the rules, see http://nielsenhayden.com/dactyls.html)
Posted by: Michael at April 8, 2004 4:21 PMoops. add an "a" between "in" and "prizim"
Posted by: maw at April 8, 2004 4:21 PMI would have loved you forever
But now I'm totally devastated
Wherever I go
I see you with her and
The pit where my happiness used to live
Gapes, beckoning
Like the void
You left in my life
When u blocked my IMs
And revoked my password
to your LiveJournal
And your heart
This is especially appropriate because it's National Poetry Month
Posted by: Cara at April 8, 2004 4:37 PMcheerleader haiku:
love is out of bounds
near the opposing team's bench
he wants men not me
Cara gets some serious points for the use of "u" instead of "you" and referencing livejournal and IMs. She's showing serious insight into the mind of an angst ridden rejected teen.
Posted by: chris at April 8, 2004 5:59 PM(Insert Dashboard Confessional album here.)
Posted by: Randolph at April 9, 2004 10:20 AMAlas, that in full bloom of youth I wilt,
My flow’r of love bent low by female scorn;
It languishes, O nymph, in thy cold jilt,
Its pollen spent on latex dolls and porn.
I am alone
Alone in this pit
It is where I fell
When I fell for you
I thought you would love me
I thought you would heal me
I gave you my soul
And you left me in this hole
No rope will you give me
To get out of this chasm
I dream of your return
But all I see are black clouds
I am alone
Alone in this pit
my soul hurts
from being empty
empty empty empty
because you emptied it
when you left
for no good reason
your love meant all to me
it was my reason to live
now i have to think of a new reason
to
live
but how can i think on an empty soul?
Like every episode
of Three's Company;
I am
misunderstood.
Now the hatred I feel
is overpowering.
Even though the line between
is thin.
Then you told me;
Welcome to Dumpsville-
population-you.
ps. i'm gay
I'm new here, be nice.
j
Wow the turnout is so great. The judges [me] really have their work cut out for them -which is nice since they [I] can spend their [my] time judging poetry and not thinking about how they're [I'm] not gonna be getting any any time soon.
PS: Lets all be nice and welcome Jaden (that means you, RJ, be nice)
PPS: The deadline for submissions is monday. Why monday, because I said so.
Posted by: chris at April 9, 2004 3:11 PMWe used to be so
Close like a covalent bond
You won't call me back.