Pretending Along

My Day

So I went to Starbucks to grab a cup of coffee for myself and some coffee-related warm beverages for some coworkers. It’s raining and I’m grumpy from the weather and the prospect of three straight weeks of uninterrupted work. After waiting for 5 minutes, behind one person in a coffee shop where employees outnumbered customers in line by a factor of 3, I order my beverages. I wait some more, and then grab my medium coffee, a medium extra-hot skim latte, and some other caffeinated abomination (the latter two for coworkers) place them in one of those carry out containers and proceed to the door. The door to this damn coffee shop, by the way, is the size of a normal door, but is actually two doors, one of which is always locked. So patrons must navigate a half-size exit with their coffee-related hot beverage(s) in hand while attempting to not spill anything. Well, after waiting patiently holding the door for the couple slowly entering (who didn’t thank me), and holding three hot beverages in my hand, I attempt to exit. At first this went well, until the half door slipped from my hand and I began to close on me. Moving quickly to ensure the door didn’t hit the coffees and completely ruin my day, I pulled the coffee up and towards me and reached to stop the approaching door. I did stop the door, however the jolt from quickly grabbing the handle caused me to jostle the beverage container and sent a spray of warm latte foam which landed squarely on my cheek and in my eye…

Oh well, at least I know now how all those women felt….

Did I just say that out loud?

I think we can all agree that that was a long way to go for a one-line facial joke.