So I broke my toe. My little pinky toe on my right foot. The one that goes "wee-wee-wee all the way home." The runt of the litter. The little one that cowers against its bigger brothers. Snapped his primary phalange in half like a breadstick; disconnected the dwarfish digit.
And now I'm on crutches, half of my foot is encased in a molded fiberglass splint, and I've got a gimp shoe to wear around the house. There are few things more pathetic that hobbling around on crutches without a decent reply to the question, "what happened?"
Somehow my current answer just doesn't cut the mustard: "I had just gotten out of the shower and was getting ready for work on Sunday when I accidentally kicked a stack of plastic milk crates filled with books... No I didn't break my ankle, I broke my toe... No, not the big toe, it was the little one." I need a better story. I think from now on at the end of my spiel I'll just add, "yeah the little toe, widely acknowledged to be the most painful toe to break."
But thank God for friends. I can just hear the love and concern in their voices amid the cries of "gimp," "hop-along," "skippy," peg-leg," "toe jam," "why didn't you go to the doctors on Sunday when I told you to, you Dumbass," and "how's the hang nail you pussy."
To all of them, I say this: A broken toe effectively ended baseball legend Dizzy Dean's pitching career. Poised to be one of the greatest ever, he was hit in the toe by a line drive at the '37 All-Star Game. Dean attempted to return to soon and modified his windup to favor the toe. He was never the same.
Posted by cs at June 3, 2004 2:37 PMpeople, stop making fun of cs. i saw his x-ray, and it's really scary. he broke his toe in two. there are two bones where one should be.
Posted by: nm at June 3, 2004 3:14 PM1) Dizzy Dean is to baseball as Chris is to _____.
2) New fake story: metorite.
Posted by: Smith at June 3, 2004 6:19 PMgood shit.
funny as all hell, but good still.