Pretending Along

zzzzzz

It’s astounding. I can actually feel myself getting older in this meeting. Life is slipping out of my body, seeping slowly into the uncomfortable wine-colored chair.

I cleared out the 500 or so items from my email inbox. I wrote some emails (which will be sent when I reconnect). I updated a document. I’ve been sitting here so long that I’m able to witness plate tectonics in action. I swear I saw the ground move outside. I’m expecting a mountain range to develop outside of Baltimore over the next million-odd years (or perhaps by the end of this same meeting next week). And now I’m typing out this post.

This meeting made me less interesting. It sapped some creativity from my soul. I will meet someone in twenty years and he or she will walk away from me thinking, “Jesus Christ, that guy, what a freakin’ drag. Talk about boring.” And it will be because of this meeting. This post has undoubtedly suffered significantly, it must read like the musings of a dry log in the desert. Actually, a dry log in the desert would likely have a slightly more to say, and it would definitely be more compelling.

I had to bite my nails during this meeting. Not because I was stressed, but because they have grown since this meeting started; like a dead person’s fingernails.

I can no longer sit still, although in this particular case, even the normally amusing image of me squirming through a meeting is dry and soul-sucking.

There is no good way to end this post. Like this meeting it can only continue on and on and on. Aimlessly. But not aimlessly in the carefree sense of the word. Aimless with no goal, no end in site and no hope of attaining any sense of closure.

Posted by cs at February 2, 2006 5:19 PM