February 29, 2004
Happy Leap Day Folks!!!!!!
That's right it's February 29th, 2004. People born February 29, 1920 can legally drink today. So, to French actress Michele Morgan (Passage to Marseille), I'd buy you a beer if I knew ya.
February 28, 2004
Quote of the Day
Today's quote comes from Ronnie Earle, district attorney of Travis County, Texas. After being accused by House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (whose PAC is currently under investigation by a group of Texas prosecutors) of having "a long history of being vindictive and partisan" Earle responded thusly:
"Being called partisan and vindictive by Tom DeLay is like being called ugly by a frog."
Gotta love those Texans.
February 27, 2004
The Joys of the Office
A coworker just called me a "turd."
I'm not sure why that amused me so much. It just did.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.
February 24, 2004
Silly English Kiniggets, on Broadway
If this is true, I'm there. Apparently, Monty Python and the Holy Grail may be coming to broadway as a musical, tenatively titled Spamelot.
A Brief Excursion Into Politics
Two quick notes on our government:
1) Education Secretary Roderick R. Paige called the largest teachers union in the United States, the NEA, a "terrorist organization." Paige made the comment about the 2.7 million member union while addressing a meeting of US governors. He later apologized in a written statement, but took a few more digs at the NEA:
"It was an inappropriate choice of words to describe the obstructionist scare tactics the NEA's Washington lobbyists have employed against No Child Left Behind's historic education reforms"
The apology also states that the NEA has "made no secret that they will fight against bringing real, rock-solid improvements in the way we educate all our children." Perhaps Paige got the NEA confused with the Bush administration, whose 05 budget included the smallest increase for education spending in nine years, falling $9 billion short of promised levels of funding for No Child Left Behind. The average yearly increase in education spending since 1997 is about $4 billion, the Bush White House has proposed an increase of $26 million--do the math. "The budget eliminates funds for 38 programs, including dropout prevention and gifted and talented education, and once again fails to increase Pell Grants for our nation’s poorest college students," said a recent NEA press release.
2) President Bush, this morning, endorsed a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. Many others have and will make impassioned, rhetorically sound, and better informed arguments against this act of the President, but I'd like to weigh in briefly.
What is the argument against gay marriage? How exactly does it pose a threat to traditional marriages? I hear two distinct arguments against it. First, the religious one, which I understand if you subscribe to particular religions. What I do not understand is using a religious argument to deny something to a group of people via a constitutional amendment. The Constitution is a secular document. You know how many times the words God and Lord are used? Once, as in "year of our Lord." Hows about religion? Once, as in "shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion." But why is the anti-gay marriage side of this debate being waged using terms like sanctify, "the sanctity of marriage," "the sacrament of marriage," and "sacred institution?" This is religious talk and has no place in a serious debate about constitutional amendments.
The second argument against gay marriage I frequently hear isn't really an argument against it at all, but a sort of rhetorical side step: civil unions. The argument here is that civil unions offer separate but equal status for gay couples. But as the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court has pointed out, "The history of our nation has demonstrated that separate is seldom, if ever, equal."
OK, I've droned on, but these two stories today really touched a nerve... Thank goodness for the Internet as an outlet for my pent-up opinions and frustrations.
February 23, 2004
Pretending Along Public Service Announcement (PAPSA)
Today's PAPSA concerns only denizens of the DC area; it's really more of a warning, an APB, rather than a PSA. I'm warning DC residents about a public nuisance, a miscreant at large in the DC area. The evildoer has been described as follows:
A short legged, brown and white male, with an unstreaked chest, a black reddish back, and black bib. Height, about six inches. Weight, approximately 30 grams.
The scoundrel was last seen on the corner 16th and Corcoran Streets NW about 8:45 this morning. He was perched in a tree, from whence the little fucker shat on my head as I walked to work this morning.
That's right folks, we're looking out for your common American House Sparrow. He's little, angry, and got great aim.
February 22, 2004
Doppelganger?
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present,
(courtsey of reasonably clever)
February 17, 2004
Quote
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, in a final sense, [is] a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. -Dwight Eisenhower, April 16, 1953
Warning
Just got a new keyboard for the office computer. The "C," "N," and "M," keys on the old one had stopped working unless they were pushed with considerable force. The new one, however, is smaller. I’m expecting a significant increase in the number of typos. Bummer.
I'm Back
After an enjoyable week away from work I have returned to the office. What did I do during my week off, you ask? In a word: Nothing.
Well that’s not exactly true, I went to a couple of museums, saw a movie or two, and spent some time with family; but all in all, it was a period of relative stasis, a singular achievement for me (those who know me can attest to the fact that I’m not known for inactivity).
I’ll briefly sum up my week:
Anyway, with that out of the way; I’ll leave you folks with one question: How much would it suck to be perusing the internet for pornography, only to come across video of your wife having sex with her lover? And how exactly do you confront said wife about this?
February 12, 2004
Don't be Silly, This Is Nothing Like the Red Scare, We're fighting Terrorists, not Communists
Well it's a good thing that the Bush Administration and the Justice Department have assured us that the Patriot Act will not be used to collect information on political dissenters, otherwise this story would be frightening. It seems that a "federal judge has ordered a university to turn over records about a gathering of anti-war activists. Fox News reports:
"In addition to the subpoena of Drake University, subpoenas were served this past week on four of the activists who attended a Nov. 15 forum at the school, ordering them to appear before a grand jury Tuesday, the protesters said.
Scary, ain't it? This might mark the first time since the '50s that a university has been ordered to turn over such records to the federal government.
Update: I must have missed this earlier,aAccording to the AP, federal prosecutors have withdrawn the subpoenas against Drake University and the four protesters following a "national outcry." The Iowa Civil Liberties Union pledged to file legal motions to determine "why the subpoenas were served in the first place."
Morals in the News: Update
Following up on a previous post, three Texas pharmacists who refused to fill a rape victim's perscription for a morning-after pregnancy-prevention pill have been fired.
That's a nice start. I wonder if there is any further action that can be taken.
February 10, 2004
Chinstrap Penguins
And in the New York Times today, Gay Chinstrap Penguins at the Central Park Zoo. This story is great for numerous reasons, first and foremost, there are animals known as "chinstrap penguins," how fucking cool is that. Read the article. It seems that gay male chinstrap penguins make good penguin parents.
February 06, 2004
Pretending Along Public Service Announcement
... or PAPSA:
When it's cold out and there's been a sleet, rain, freezing rain mix all night, don't run to catch the bus. I know it 's tempting, it's only a half block to the stop, and the bus is there, and you just might make it if you run.
You will slip on the ice and fall into the inch of cold, wet slush that is currently coating the sidewalk. And you will feel like a jackass as you turn around to go back home and change your clothes. And people snicker under their breath as you walk past them.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
The Pretending Along Friday Quiz
Hey folks, new feature today, it's the Pretending Along Friday Quiz, or PAFQ. Here's today's question:
Which American said the following after the Russian Revolution:
"In the East a new star is risen! With pain and anguish the old order has given birth to the new, and behold in the East a man-child is born! Onward, comrades, all together! Onward to the campfires of Russia! Onward to the coming dawn!"
February 05, 2004
Stuff
I think I'll be blogging more frequently over the next couple of weeks. So here's some random miscellanea:
Later
February 04, 2004
Things I Miss
1) The Pixies- I love this band, but never got to see them live. Never saw 'em live. They're probably at the top of my list for bands I wish I'd seen. Now before anyone jumps down my throat with shouts of the Beatles or Elvis or the Doors, etc. let me clarify. Sure I'd like to see the Beatles or Elvis, but it is not possible, nor has it been possible the entire time I've been alive (at least the parts I can remember). But I missed my chance with the Pixies, I was a fan when they broke up and never once saw them live. Which is why I was so excited when NM pointed me to this article. Apparently The Pixies are going back on tour. The 11 city tour is brief, but I'll be there for at least one show.
2)Liz Phair- Remember when Liz Phair's songs weren't overproduced and had lyrics about fucking doggystyle like, "That's just fine with me, that way we can fuck and watch TV." Or this:
"Every time I see your face
I think of things unpure unchaste
I want to fuck you like a dog
I'll take you home and make you like it
Everything you ever wanted
Everything you ever thought of is
Everything I'll do to you
I'll fuck you and your minions too
Your face reminds me of a flower
Remember that, that was before she started recording songs written by "the Matrix" (aka, the song writing duo responsible for the two Avril Levigne musical atrocities, "Complicated" and "Sk8r Boi"). Anyway, I generally don't post opinions on music here (friends offer better pop culture critique) but I took a listen to Phair's latest record and was not impressed. I'll stick to my beat-up cassette version of "Exile in Guyville."
Morals in the News
I can't think of an appropriate punishment for this ass hole.
Can anyone help?
Feel Clean and Fresh!!
Remember those Irish Springs commercials? The one where the old Irish guy takes his pocket knife, slices off a sliver of the bar of green soap, and takes a whiff of it. Damn those were stupid advertisements.
But I love me some Irish Spring soap. This morning I feel clean and fresh, like an old irish drunk after his first shot of whiskey in the morning. (Here at Pretending Along we pander to negative stereotypes.)
So today is Irish Spring Soap Day at Pretending Along.
(You can sign up for an Irish Spring e-Newsletter)
In honor of Irish Spring Soap Day, I'll be removing the Santa hat from the logo at some point.