I've heard it said that DC is the only place in the country where, "Sorry, I was caught behind a motorcade," is a legitimate excuse for being late for an engagement. And it is, most District residents have waited in irritation as a Presidential motorcade shut down entire city blocks. Most recently, I waited 15 minutes to be allowed to continue my walk home down Columbia Ave while the President was arriving at the Hinkley Hilton for the Press Corps dinner.
But this morning I experienced a new one. I work across the street from the Washington Post building and apparently a dignitary (Pres, V.P. interim Iraqi P.M.?) was arriving to give an interview—why this could not occur in the White House, Capitol or dignitary’s hotel room (or over the phone), I do not know. I headed down to the lobby, intent on celebrating Friday with a heaping plate of greasy breakfast food from the weigh-and-pay buffet joint next-door. To my chagrin, when I attempted to exit the front door, I was told, in no uncertain terms by a heavily armed law enforcement professional that I could not, in fact, leave the building. I waited ten minutes or so before the street was filled with limos, police cars, police motorcycles, and SUVs, all turning into the Post’s parking lot. Try as I may, I’ll never get over the sight of men in the city armed with automatic weapons. This particular motorcade was complete with two or three black SUVs—windows down and rear hatches up—full of heavily armed men.
We now present, one day late, the perfect Talk Like a Pirate Day accessory, the iPatch.
Via Boing Boing.
HAPPY TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY!!!!!!!!
Arrrrrrrrrrrrr......
Welcome back Councilman Barry...
To celebrate his remarkable victory over incumbent Sandy Allen, Barry drove to Buzzard Point and...
Oh Christ, it's not even worth making jokes about. Just sit back and think about it, Marrion Barry is back.
On a side note, the Post takes a thinly veiled jab at Barry, writing that while the the cantidate "reported paltry contributions to his campaign fund, he somehow managed to find a line of new minivans to take voters to the polls. There also were hundreds of Barry T-shirts..."
To the gorgeous young woman on 15th and M Street doing her civic duty and urging people to vote in this morning's DC primary:
As I walked past you and you tried to hand me some flier you noticed the "I Voted" sticker proudly displayed on my chest. You said, "Oh, thank goodness you already voted."
I'm sorry to have responded in such a lecherous manner, saying, "I'd vote again if it'd make you happy." I was momentarily struck dumb by your pretty face, short hair, and perhaps too short shorts and ignored my internal censor. While you appeared to find my little joke funny, the Kwame Brown and Harold Brazil supporters reacted as if I'd asked you to take your shirt off.
Please excuse our mess. We're doing a little remodeling and are not really adept at editing MT templates. Hopefully this looks awesome soon.
UPDATE I'm leaving the site like for the rest of the day. I deserve an award for the ugliest blog ever
UPDATE 2 After NM's pleading, I've removed the blue and orange. For a couple of hours, it may well have been the ugliest blog ever.
It was one of those mornings.
One of those mornings when, a block from the bus stop you watch as three city busses pull up. Thinking to oneself, there is a 99.9 percent chance that if I run for the bus I'll miss it and look like an ass for doing so. But there is a .1 percent chance that I'll make it.
I ran, looked like an ass, and waited a half hour for the next bus. One might think that realizing the inevatible outcome of a situation I would do something to avoid it.
Ain't human nature fuckin awesome.