Pretending Along

Hey...

You know what's cool about Southwestern New Jersey?

...No really, I'm asking you. I really can't think of a damn thing. It's not rhetorical.

Baseball Photos

aka, I don't know how to use photoshop

I went to the Washington Nationals' second home game with some friends last weekend. I got a bit carried away with the camera and attempted to make a panorama with my 10-yearold 35mm point-and-shoot camera. Regardless, take a look at the photos if only to make fun of my lack of talent with a camera.

The view from behind home plate:

Panorama (Considering the beers I'd had during the game, the people bumping into me as I took the photographs, and the fact that I don't know photoshop very well, I think I did an ok job):

Worse than Dog S#*t

We all know the feeling; you're walking down a city street or through a city park and your foot slips as you’re taking a step. You look down, hoping to find a small pile of wet leaves or mud, but inevitably you've just stepped in and slid across dog crap. It's a major inconvenience. Because some busy pet owner can't clean up after his Pekingese, one either must smell like crap for the bus ride and then for the first half hour of one's day (either that or you've got to drag your foot along the ground as if you've been injured trying to scrape the crap from your shoe sole.

At any rate, I was walking through Adams Morgan at around lunchtime today when I felt the telltale slip. Quickly considering my the way my day was going to that point, I immediately dismissed the possibility that I'd slipped on wet leaves, nope, it was definitely dog droppings. I was oddly satisfied with the world as I turned to look to make sure my assumption was correct; I thought to myself: "There is no way the universe would have let this be a pile of leaves under my shoe, it is certainly a pile of dog shit."

As I looked, I was momentarily surprised to find that it was, in fact, not dog droppings I'd stepped in; nope, I'd stepped on and skidded through dead rat.

Never underestimate the power of the universe to subvert predictions, to defy expectations, and to make you make you wonder, just for a moment, "if there is a supreme being up there, what exactly did I do to piss him off."

I've been reading about Marla Ruzicka this morning.

What a crying shame. At 28 this young woman had already performed more good than most of us will in our entire lives.

At any rate, read about the work Ms. Ruzica was doing and then donate something to her organization, CIVIC Worldwide.

More: Senator Leahy's remarks

Kudos

This blog would like to take a moment to tip our hat to the driver of the 2437 (I think) Metro Bus on the 42 line this morning.

After being forced to wait as a motorcade drover around Dupont Circle our fearless bus driver drove around the circle and continued southbound down Connecticut Avenue. As we neared N street, our path was blocked by a large yellow delivery truck to the diagonally double parked to the right. To our left was the wall that separates Dupont Circle underpass from the traffic going around the circle. It appeared that we’d have to once again pause along our commute to wait for someone else. I groaned in anticipation of arriving to work even later.

Our driver had other ideas.

At first inching her way forward and then picking up speed, our driver passed the delivery truck. To our left was the curb and a fence followed by a drop to the Dupont underpass. Our driver navigated around the truck with less than four inches between her bus and the delivery truck. While she was passing the truck, noone spoke and everyone’s eyes were to the right watching the truck slowly inch by. A collective sigh, followed by a spontaneous round of applause broke out from nearly all aboard when she completed her maneuver. As folks exited at the next few stops they said things like, “That was awesome, ma’am,” “Nice driving,” or, in one case, “Lady, you freakin’ rock.”

Idaho

Check out Idaho House Concurrent Resolution No. 29 by the House Ways and Means committe on Napoleon Dynamite: "Stating findings of the Legislature and commending Jared and Jerusha Hess and the City of Preston for the production of the movie "Napoleon Dynamite."

The text of the resolution states (among many other interesting passages):

WHEREAS, any members of the House of Representatives or the Senate of the Legislature of the State of Idaho who choose to vote "Nay" on this concurrent resolution are "FREAKIN' IDIOTS!" and run the risk of having the "Worst Day of Their Lives!"

Link

Question

Any thoughts on the new title graphic of the blog? Is it merely a lame experiment in photoshopping?

observations

Keeping up a blog is difficult when nothing of consequence appears to occur in one's life. I'm bouncing back and forth between various uninteresting Mid Atlantic cities and am experiencing nothing substantial. So this evening, I'll share some recent observations I've made:

1) Walking down a long corridor in a hotel while a stranger is walking towards you is uncomfortable. You're walking towards the person, they're in your line of sight (likely, they're the only thing in your line of sight), but if you make eye contact from a long distance you're screwed. You want to acknowledge the other person's presence with the casual "hey" nod, but to do so means that the rest of the walk towards each other is quite uncomfortable.

2) Mariah Carey has huge breasts (learned from watching 5 minutes of CNN)

3) I still hate reality TV.

4) I really like argyle socks.

5) My knee hurts and I have a cold.

6) I will pay an extra $20 a night to stay in a hotel with the cartoon network so that I can watch Family Guy.

7) I can't remember why I thought Friends was funny.

8) I almost never like the ending of Tom Robbins books.

Musings

I’m not Catholic, I’m not especially saddened by the loss of J.P. II, and I readily admit that I’m getting a bit irked by the news media’s “Papal Deathapalooza ‘05” coverage, I’d just like it to go away. That said, I was dumbstruck at the crassness of USA Today’s front page this morning. One of the McNews’ signature colorful graphic boxes showed a drawing of St. Peter’s cathedral with the text:

Your guide to Friday’s funeral
Full-page graphic. How and what to watch.

It seems wildly inappropriate for a national newspaper’s coverage of the death of an international leader. That wording would be more appropriate for sports, as in: “Your guide to Thursday’s First Round NCAA Tournament action. Full page graphic. What teams to watch.”

Not that I would expect anything less of “The Nation’s Newspaper.” It is, after all, “No. 1 In The USA.” As anyone who has spent a few days/weeks in hotel rooms knows, the #1 paper seems to specialize in lowering the bar.

At any rate, I’m outside of Trenton today (I’ve decided to stop vaguely concealing the places I’m visiting, my name is all over this blog no point in being secretive). Yesterday was a 24-hour visit to Harrisburg, preceded by Trenton once again. This new work experience is a bit akin to a spatially larger version of my everyday life. Instead of quickly walking into a room and then exiting before I can really figure out what I’m doing there, I’m performing the same action with cities in the Mid Atlantic. Or, as a friend so kindly pointed out, the armpits of the Mid Atlantic.

On the tube last night--Taking Lives. Stoopid, stoopid, stoopid. Why, oh why, did I watch this crap? If only Angelina Jolie or Ethan Hawke had been killed five minutes into the film it would mercifully have ended there and I would have gotten an hour and a half more sleep last night. Unfortunately, some douche-bag screen writer decided to throw in some plot twists, a couple clichés, and a randomly placed Keiffer Sutherland(?) to make this pathetic exercise stretch to feature film length. Not even a briefly naked Angelina Jolie could improve my opinion of this pathetic piece of slop.

On the Pod--Modest Mouse, Everywhere and His Nasty Parlour Tricks. Someone please orchestrate an intervention and help me turn this off. This is the sixth time in a row I’ve listened to this EP end-to-end. Sweet.

Above My Head--Sprinkler Pipe. Dripping.